Jacob and friend. (Not Judy.)

Jacob has a girlfriend.  I think.

Or rather, his camp counselors think so.

Jacob (breathless): Mommy, Arielle isn’t at camp this session.  So now Judy is MY friend.

Sigh.  We’ve been over this before.  I launched into my speech.

Me:  I’m glad that you and Judy are friends.  Who is Judy?   Anyway, it doesn’t matter.  The point is, you can have more than one friend.  And Judy can have more than one friend.  Judy can be your friend AND Arielle’s friend.

Jacob (annoyed):  MOMMY.  ARIELLE.  IS.  NOT. AT. CAMP.  Aren’t you paying attention?

Well, then.  I see I’ve made my point.

Yesterday afternoon, when I picked Jacob up from camp, a counselor pulled me aside.

Counselor: So, we just wanted you to know . . . Jacob and Judy are a hot item.  They were INSEPARABLE today.  They asked permission to hold hands.  It was so adorable.  I.  WAS.  DYING.

I feel like I should have a talk with Judy.  Someone should warn her.  About the likely bacteria count on those hands.  Especially in the middle of a day of camp.  Two words for you, Judy: hand sanitizer.

Another Counselor chimed in.

Counselor 2:  Are you talking about Jacob and Judy?  OH. MY. GOD.  They were attached at the hip.  At one point . . . he kissed her on the cheek.  It was so cute.  I think he’s deeply in love.

I should mention that, later that evening, Dan asked Jacob to tell us about his favorite parts of the day and Jacob mentioned the following: lunch, baking bread at camp, and swimming.   The kiss?  Apparently not even in the top three.  In Jacob’s world, it’s hard to top a cheese sandwich.*

Anyway, on the ride home from camp, Jacob and I had this conversation . . .

Me: So, Jacob, you got to play with Judy today . . .?

Jacob:  Yup.

Me:  That’s great.  Did you play together a lot?  Or just a little bit?

Jacob: At science class we wanted to be in the same group to bake bread.  But the teacher decided the groups.  And I got put at Table number one and Judy got put at Table number three.  WE. WERE.  SEPARATED.

Me: I’m sorry.  That must have been really frustrating.

Jacob: IT. WAS. EXASPERATING.

It’s like the five-year-old version of West Side Story.  I would say Romeo and Juliet but I can’t stand Shakespeare.  And West Side Story has a better sound track.  And Jacob’s life DEFINITELY has a sound track.

Me: I don’t think I’ve met Judy.  What is she like?

Jacob:  She likes pink and purple and science.  AND I LIKE SCIENCE.

Could eHarmony have made a better match?

I think we can ALL see where this is going.  I’m off to find a venue for the wedding.  Ta.

*Dan packs Jacob’s lunch and strongly objects to my characterization of said lunch as a mere “cheese sandwich”.  (I’m sure Judy will find this very reassuring.